


Right Here, Beside You

by theundeadsiren (rhoen)



Category: In the Flesh (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-19
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:51:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5460404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/theundeadsiren
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jem suffers from night terrors, and Lisa does what she can to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Right Here, Beside You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [amydyersgreatblueyonder (Mor)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mor/gifts).



> Written for [amydyersgreatblueyonder](http://amydyersgreatblueyonder.tumblr.com/) for the winter/xmas fic thing I did. ([x](http://theundeadsiren.tumblr.com/post/133798652740/reblog-for-a-short-winterxmas-fic))
> 
> Canon Divergent, because Lisa is still alive.
> 
> This is the first f/f stuff I've ever written! It was a fun challenge, and I hope it's okay... It is unbeta'd, just to warn you!
> 
> I've had to reupload this, as AO3 wasn't showing the fic anywhere, unless you had the direct link. Thanks, AO3... Second fic it's done that to.

**You may not take this fic and edit or reupload it - in whole or in part - without my express permission. This includes translations.**

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Thank you for respecting my wishes.

* * *

 

It was hard to remain asleep when the body pressed close to her was far too hot, the young woman at her side crying out pathetically and twisting in an attempt escape the night terrors that were all too real. Her own haunting darkness forgotten, Lisa cast sleep aside and sat up, trying to offer Jem some room as she carefully reached out and shook her shoulder.

“Jem,” she said in a low, urgent voice, not wanting it to carry through the too-thin wall where her own parents were hopefully sound asleep. “It’s just a dream, Jem. Wake up.”

It invariably happened. Every night without fail Jem was gripped by terrors she couldn’t escape. She soaked through sheet after sheet, and Lisa was left to try and bring her back to consciousness. Some nights it was harder than others, and there was a bruise still yellowing her skin from a few nights ago when Jem’s fist had connected with her jaw. Preempting the swing this time, Lisa’s hand caught Jem’s wrist and she held it as firmly as she dared.

“You’re all right,” she breathed, willing Jem to hear her. “Wake up, babe.”

There was a telltale shift in Jem’s body, her breath catching and her body stiffening as she reacted to Lisa’s voice. Her eyes flew open, wide and petrified, as she slammed into consciousness. For a moment, there was tension and ragged, rushed breathing, and then the sobbing started.

“You’re all right,” Lisa soothed, instinctively opening her arms. Flushed skin pressed against her thin clothing, and she could feel the heat and almost feverish sweat as Jem clung to her, sobbing and gasping.

“It… It was…”

“I know,” Lisa sighed softly, her hand gently stroking Jem’s damp hair in an attempt to calm her. She knew what the nightmares were about, and at moments like this her own fear of what they’d faced was dangerously close to the surface. But she couldn’t let it win, because she needed to be strong for Jem. “I know,” she said again, letting Jem cling to her for as long as she needed. Jem never wanted to let go. Despite how sticky her skin was, or how much she might prickle with heat, Jem never let go first.

When she judged her to be calm enough, Lisa tenderly gathered Jem’s hair, pulling it away from the nape of her neck and marvelling as she did at the smoothness of it.

“Shall we go get cleaned up?” she suggested, moving away a fraction. It was at this point that Jem always withdrew and could never quite meet Lisa’s eye. It was perhaps the hardest part, watching the person she cared about so deeply shut herself away in a prison of shame.

Jem nodded, moving to sit up a little shakily. The towels they’d laid down would be damp, but Lisa’s attention was firmly on the beautiful young woman in front of her. Her heart broke every time. Jem didn’t deserve to have been burdened with what the last two years had brought, and while Lisa could understand some of it, and shared a little of the experience, there was such a deep, all-consuming grief carved into Jem’s heart, and at times like this was clear how much of an unbearably heavy burden the loss was. But no one else saw it. Perhaps they didn’t want to see. It was easier to pretend that Jem was fine; that she was this badass local lass who would give even the most hardened of men a run for their money. They didn’t want to acknowledge the emotional damage caused by allowing a grieving, lost little girl to bear their burdens and take up arms against a world she wanted to tear down when her brother had been taken from her.

One of Lisa’s demons was her inability to reach out and fix what should never have been broken.

Slowly, they made their way to the bathroom, and Jem started stripping off, curling in on herself to try and take up less space. Lisa locked the door behind them and crossed to the shower, turning it on and testing the temperature of the water until it was warm but not hot. She didn’t need to, but she undressed too, stepping into the shower after Jem, who immersed herself, turning her face upwards towards the showerhead so the spray cascaded over her face and washed away all traces of sweat and tear. Here eyes were red-rimmed and tired when she tilted her head down and looked at Lisa.

Lisa simply smiled softly. There weren’t words for times like this. Tenderly, she reached up and drew a wayward lock of hair from across Jem’s cheek, allowing her fingers to graze over the pale, delicate skin. Jem’s gaze dipped even further, her head lowering and water running off her nose and chin. Wordlessly, she reached for Lisa, who was caught in such a fierce embrace it pushed the breath from her lungs. She didn’t mind. Slowly, Jem relaxed. Lisa could feel the beat of her heart where Jem’s breast pressed against her own; a reassuring murmur.

“I’m so sorry,” Jem mumbled. Lisa’s hand stroked gently over the sensitive skin of Jem’s back.

“Don’t be, babe,” she reassured her. “I’ve got yer.”

Lisa pulled away then, offering another smile as she met Jem’s reluctant gaze. It never failed to astonish her that Jem could barely look away once they’d made eye contact, as if she really was captivated by Lisa.

“I shouldn’t have gotten my hair wet.”

Lisa, distracted, did little more than murmur in agreement, reaching up and pushing at the heavy dark strands, a rich purple in the bright bathroom light.

“Shall I wash it for you?” she offered. In answer, Jem stooped slightly and picked up her shampoo - Lisa’s own wasn’t suited to her hair - pressing it to Lisa’s palm.

Months ago they’d both stopped caring about the proper time of day to take a shower. Lisa unhurriedly massaged Jem’s scalp, working the sweet-smelling shampoo into her hair and then gently teasing out the soap and tangles. Jem closed her eyes, swaying a little under the attention, and let Lisa work. Sometimes she spoke about what was on her mind, but this time she stayed silent. As Lisa pushed Jem’s hair back from her shoulders and lightly pressed a kiss to the delicate pale skin, she felt a hand gripping at her waist, pulling her closer as Jem’s breathing hitched.

“Is this alright?” LIsa asked, pulling away just enough to take in the way Jem’s gaze lowered, her cheeks flushing a little more as she nodded. With that consent, Lisa lowered her mouth again, kissing the pale, inviting skin of Jem’s shoulder, slowly working her way towards Jem’s neck. The simplest, softest touch in the right spot could undo her, and Lisa held Jem tightly in her arms, feeling her girlfriend trembling slightly. As she reached the tip of Jem’s jawline and her lips grazed over a studded earlobe, Lisa smiled to herself.

“Love you, Jem.”

Sometimes she wasn’t sure if Jem knew it, and the way she reacted, giving a small noise of surprise, made Lisa feel like sometimes the younger girl forgot. She didn’t mind reminding her, though, and as she pulled away to grab the shower gel, the way Jem watched her, flushed and a little breathless, made it worth it.

As Lisa gently drew Jem from beneath the shower spray and started applying the soap gently to her skin, Jem placed a hand on Lisa’s chest, right above her heart, pressing firmly.

“Do you think it will ever go away?”

Lisa took her time to answer, thinking it over. She didn’t need to ask what Jem meant. “I don’t know. I don’t think it ever can? But it will get easier, and one day...” she smiled at Jem, trying to be confident and reassuring. “One day you’ll find you haven’t thought about it all day all, and it won’t hurt as much to remember.”

Jem gave a dry laugh, clearly unable to imagine it. Lisa’s gaze dropped as she poured out more shower gel, also wondering how they were supposed to leave the past behind when it had wounded them so deeply and was still so much a part of their lives. She didn’t regret joining the HVF, but longed for the day it was no longer needed and they could lay the past to rest.

Suddenly feeling old and weary beyond her years, Lisa simply watched the contrast of dark and pale skin as she smoothed soap over Jem’s body, and then she knelt on the hard enamel, her hands working the soap over thighs so pale she could see the veins beneath the skin - fragile blue beneath delicate translucence she couldn’t help but lean in and kiss, feeling the warmth and life beneath her lips. Above her Jem gasped and trembled at the touch, her hands pushing into Lisa’s hair and guiding her. She went where directed, drawing strength from the sounds and shivers Jem gave, letting herself focus on the one good thing she’d found in all the chaos; the one thing that was still worth everything. Lisa could never have predicted that her life would turn out like this, but as she slowly moved higher, hands rinsing off the soap mere moments before her lips followed, she knew she wouldn’t want it any other way.

Jem’s nightmares seemed forgotten. Her skin was flushed, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she gazed at Lisa with heavy-lidded eyes.

“Want to go back to bed?” Lisa asked, her fingers slipping lower and causing Jem’s breath to hitch as she teased delicate flesh. Strong hands grasped at her shoulder as Jem sought support, clinging to Lisa in an incredibly pleasant way, the last traces of soap slick between their bodies. Jem’s breath caught Lisa’s neck as she shuddered again.

“In a minute,” Jem breathed, her hips shifting into the touch. As Lisa brought her hand up to pinch a nipple to hardness, she tried to guess how much longer they had before the hot water ran out, and then quickly forgot her concern as Jem stiffened and arched into her, gasping. The usually strong arms wrapped around Lisa’s shoulders trembled weakly, and Lisa fought the instinct to let go and instead support Jem.

“Lis-” Jem pleaded, her voice barely more than a broken whisper. Her hips ground against Lisa’s touch again, and she gave a choked moan that made Lisa’s heart skip a beat. Everything else was forgotten as she closed the distance between them and kissed soft, sweet lips that parted willingly at her behest. She could feel the desperation in Jem’s touch: the way she pushed just a fraction too needily into the kiss, and tried to pull Lisa even closer with slender fingers that struggled to find purchase where soap had transferred onto her skin. There was a vulnerability to her that no one else saw; that no one else knew about. It made Lisa feel unbelievably lucky to know every part of Jem intimately: her hopes, her fears, her imperfections, her insecurities. Lisa loved her for every one of them, and for the fact that Jem trusted her enough to reveal them. She always flowered open beneath her touch, strong enough to let go completely and give herself over to Lisa entirely. Lisa always tried to make sure it was worth it, giving what Jem seemed to need, and more.

The water splashing against her skin from Jem’s was noticeably cooler, and Lisa broke the kiss, watching Jem carefully. Jem either hadn’t noticed the change in temperature, or didn’t care. She looked at Lisa with grey eyes clouded with desire, her reddened lips parted as she breathed a little too fast.

“Let’s go to bed,” Lisa suggested again, her voice soft and low, almost lost beneath the sound of the shower. Jem gave a low moan, eyelids fluttering closed as she pressed even closer to Lisa, who was trying to give Jem another few seconds of pleasure, hoping to elicit an agreement with the promise of what was to come when they made it back to the bedroom.

With a shiver, Jem nodded, her feet squeaking on the bath as she tried to move forward, away from the now tepid water. “Okay,” she breathed, tensing from the cool water. Lisa gave her space to move, letting go and reaching for the showerhead to quickly rinse off the last traces of soap on her own skin. It made her gasp, the sensation not entirely unpleasant as cold water cascaded over her body, causing her skin to tighten.

“You okay?” Jem asked. Lisa nodded, turning off the water and replacing the showerhead. She didn’t want Jem to be worried about her.

“Yeah, babe. Come on.”

As Lisa passed Jem a towel, she focused on quickly rubbing herself dry, not as fussed about the few lingering drops on her skin as she was about getting back to the bedroom. Jem’s movements were far slower than her own, but once she’d twisted her hair up into a towel, she let Lisa take her hand, lacing their fingers together.

“Lis, will you…”

Lisa could infer from Jem’s hesitance and the way her already flushed skin deepened in colour what was being asked, and nodded, swallowing thickly.

“Yeah, anything you want, babe.”

Jem gave a shy smile, looking far more innocent than she really was. Lisa brought their hands up to her lips, kissing the soft skin on the back of Jem’s hand and then leaning in to give her a soft, promising kiss that left Jem leaning after her when she pulled away again. Lisa gave a warm smile, glad to have Jem just as she wanted her: unburdened by the past that was always far too present, and focused solely on Lisa and the promise of what was to come.


End file.
